I had hoped to write this blog and post it long before the Nathan’s hot dog qualifying circuit started. As I write this, Humble Bob is probably dominating the Philly qualifier, putting cracks dozens of dogs that would make the Liberty Bell envious. At a Cub Parking lot in Philly, just a few miles from the 1978 domination of Moses (Guthrie, not Lerman)* A stacked field of Lovely Juliet Lee, Wing Kong, Steakbellie, Yellowcake Subich, and Disco Iskoe are gorging for glory. Two more gustatory gladiators will earn spots at the final table today. Already qualified Joey “Jaws” Chestnut, defending chomp (66 Hdbs, twelve minutes), Rich “The Las Vegas Locust” LeFevre (31 hdbs, ten mintutes) Pat “Thin Crust” Bertolletti (41 hdbs, ten minutes), Arturo Rios Grande (22.75 hdbs, ten minutes) and break-out rookie, Patrick Van Damn (His 30 Hdbs, ten minutes inspires many exclamatory nicknames, but more on him later). Oh, and myself (21.5 hdbs, twelve minutes). I had hoped to point out, prior to the first 08 qualifier that my Saratoga Qualifier win (see True Fan http://www.urbanhonking.com/truefan/2007 /08/waitnathans-again.html ) would be the lowest total at the final table by a long shot. I knew this back in August, the moment the contest ended, long before the two minute time limit reduction in contest length. Even with the Nixon tape like qualifiers, if my 21.5 is not the lowest, it will be close to the bottom (or the outside of the table) and several eaters will have higher totals but not make the big show. The internet conspirator theorists probably assume the Major League Eating shorted all the qualifiers to make my total look respectable. The league office would have had to cut the twelve in half and Takeru, Pat, and X would still be ten hdbs ahead. My personal best is 24.5 (twelve mins in Minns), but for July 08 I had hoped to make the jump that my fellow hot doggers were making. Erik the Red, The Shredder, Hall Hunt, and Pat Philbin (the most methodical and consistent hdb eater on the circuit) all broke out of the 25 club in their qualifiers. If you ask my favorite eater of all time, Mike “The Scholar” Devito, he will tell you that a personal best is easier achieved at a qualifier than the big show (Unless one is either working man hero, Joey Chestnut or never-less-than-personal-best Eater X). The qualifying campaign and the 4 ^th have different variables, factors and motivations to each. I’ve always felt the most important thing is to make that final table and then enjoy it while you are there. In August of 07, I realized that if I didn’t soon join the ranks of the above 25 club, my seventh consecutive trip to the finals would be nice, but an eighth (in 09) wouldn’t happen. Yes, it’s May 24 ^th of 2008, but I am thinking ahead to the 09 qualifiers. That’s what hot dog season will do if one is obsessed. I was at Coney Island last Saturday enjoying a ceremonial dog (and some skeeball). The lights are bright, the clock is ticking down to high noon, July 4 ^th , 2008. Time, like fading hot dog totals, wait for no man. One can temporarily stave off the inevitable rookie taking a veteran spot at the table, only if he (or she) believes it’s possible to improve; mind over stomach matter. I recall the iconic Cookie Jarvis, eating to a gutbusting deuce in Boston, but forced into a one minutes overtime, consuming four more hdbs for the win (and my favorite competitive eating photo of all time – see above). Cookie told me years later (and also again just now on the phone – he calls a lot) that he never would have made it to the rarefied belches of thirty hdbs if not for that overtime. Because he was forced to physically endure extra hot dog agony, his mind realized his capacity was greater. In the words of Trip Harrison, the greatest hot dog coach in history, “Look at those steaming weenies, and you know what they’re sayin’ Larry? There sayin’ this is the year that Fink beats the stomach”. How did Joey Chestnut beat the invincible Kobayashi? He believed it was possible. Trip: “Every day I am eating more and more hot dogs”

To those grizzled veterans who struggled years ago to do the deuce, incrementally making small improvements, it’s amazing when a rookie bolts out of the gate to an unprecedented total. However, in the modern era of pro-eating it makes sense. With TV coverage from ESPN to Spike and the internet’s wealth of photos and amateur videos, it makes sense that “big eaters” from around the country would be drawn to Major League Eating events. How does a kid like Patrick VanDam perform so well out of the gate? Is this kid the Big Brown of the MLE? The fact that he ate an astounding 12 plus pounds of grits is an indicator of a tremendous capacity; however his performance was dwarfed by the five gurgitators who finished ahead of him. Personally, I can’t wait to meet him at Coney and congratulate him on something he probably thinks isn’t a big deal. He’s eaten with Joey, Pat, and X. It seems he knows who to emulate, imitate and masticate (like). Perhaps Van Dam will throw some tips my way or at least tell me what the air in the thirty club smells like? Trip, I need you buddy - “You’ve got to want it, Larry, Come’ on Fink, he doesn’t want it!” July 4 ^th , 2008 - What are those steaming weenies going to say to me? (no a couple of the ones over there).

*The Thirty Year Moses six inch single:

Side A: “Moses you’re the One” (“Moses Theme”, sung by Frankie Bleu, Fish That Saved Pittsburgh Soundtrack, 1978)

Side B: “Moses is Great” (“Moses is great”, sung by Beautiful Brian Seiken, Stick to Blogging, 2008)